Meanwhile ... Back in DC

For those who plan to visit/move to our area ...

First, you must learn to call it by its rightful name. It is DC or 'the District' - only tourists call it Washington. Next, if your road map of Montgomery County is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. It's obsolete. If in Loudoun or Fairfax County and your map is one day old, it's already obsolete.

There is no such thing as a dangerous high speed chase inD.C. It's just another chase, usually on the BW Parkway.

All directions start with 'The Beltway'... which has no beginning and no end, just one continuous loop that locals believe is somehow clarified by an 'inner' and 'outer loop' designation. This makes no sense to ANYONE outside the area.

The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11 AM. The evening rush hour is from 1 to 8 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning, especially during the summer on Route 50 eastbound.

If there is a ball game at the Redskins stadium, there is no point in driving anywhere near PG County. (Tip: Never say PG County to anyone from Mitchellville, Upper Marlboro or Fort Washington (its Prince Georges County). They'll blow a vessel in their neck and go into a seizure.)

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended and shot at. If you run the red light, be sure to smile forthe $100 'picture' you will receive courtesy of DMV. (However, if you don't go as soon as the light turns green, you will get cussed out in 382 languages).

Rain causes an immediate 50 point drop of IQ in drivers. Snow causes an immediate 100 point drop in IQ and a rush to the nearest Giant for toilet paper and milk.

Construction on I-270 is a way of life and a permanen tsource of scorn and cynical entertainment. It's ironic that it's called an 'Interstate,' but runs only from Bethesda to Frederick. (Unless you consider Montgomery County another state, which some do). Opening in the 60's, it has been torn up and under reconstruction ever since. Also, it has a 'Spur' section which is even more confusing.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, 'Oh, we're in Takoma Park'.

If someone actually has their turn signal on, they are by definition, a tourist. Car horns are actually 'Road Rage' indicators. Heed the warning.

All old ladies in Buicks have the right of way in the area of Leisure World.

Many roads mysteriously change their names as you cross intersections. Don't ask why, no one knows.

If asking directions in Arlington, Langley Park, Wheaton orAdams Morgan, Spanish helps. Annandale, Cambodian orVietnamese will come in handy. If on Dupont Circle, Capital Hill or U Street, tolerance for same sex helps. If you stop to ask directions in Southeast ... well, just don't.

A taxi ride across town will cost you $12.50. A taxi ride two blocks will cost you 16.75. (It's a zone thing, you wouldn't understand.)

Traveling south out of DC on Interstate 395/95 is the most dangerous, scariest thing you will ever do. There is nothing more comforting then seven lanes of trafficcruising along at 85 mph, BUMPER TO BUMPER!!! (Truer wordshave never been written!)

The minimum acceptable speed on the Beltway is 85. Anything less is considered down right sissy.

The open lane for passing on all Maryland interstates is the far right lane because no self-respecting Marylander would ever be caught driving in the 'slow ' lane. Unofficially, both shoulders are fair game also.

The far left lanes on all Maryland interstates are official 'chat' lanes reserved for drivers who wish to talk on their cell phones. Note: All SUVs have priority clearance to use the far left at whatever speed the driver feels most comfortable multi-tasking in.

The Beltway is our daily version of a NASCAR reality show. Strap up and collect points as you go.

It's Official

On Friday I will be a Robert H. Smith School of Business, University of Maryland, MBA graduate. Cumulative GPA 3.58! I just received my final class grade -- an A. Yeah!

Teleporting

MS Word and Outlook keep wanting to correct "teleworking" to "teleporting." Wouldn't that be a cool way to get to work?

Photos from Louisiana

Some photos from Lafayette and Jazz Fest in New Orleans.

Take Your Wife to Work Day

I'm working from Shane's office today. Nice setup! Screaming fast Internet connection and access to a copier, fax machine, etc. But my husband needs to learn some cube etiquette. He makes phone calls using his speaker phone and blows his nose with customers on the other end of the line!

Bummer

Marc Brownstein (of the Disco Biscuits) is married! Still trying to find out more about the personal lives of the other band members.

Encouragement From a Fellow Telecommuter

"That's good you're doing ok with the telecommuting. In the beginning I never stopped during the day at all, either. But after a while you start to feel like your living your work life since you work where you live and there is not real beginning (going into the office) or end (leaving the office) to the day. So you end up working more than you would if you went into the office. Now I try to take it a little easier on myself, ... of course it really depends on how much I have going on, and sometimes I don't stop either. It's way too easy to keep working until 7, 8 or 9 at night, but I'm trying to be better about that (especially with the nice weather now). My point is, it's important you do take some time for yourself ... whether you take a walk at lunch time or just make sure you end your day when you would if you were in the office." - a friend.

Wedding Present to Justin from Windi

Finally a magazine for married men !!

Changes in Attitude

We saw Jimmy Buffet over the weekend at Jazz Fest. What a great place to see him! It was like goin' home. Buffet is a fantastic performer and puts on a good show. He even cross dressed for one song. Buffet sings a song about changes in latitude, changes in attitude. After 12 days in the South I definitely have had some changes in attitude.

5 good things to do on your lunch hour:
1. Lay by the pool (and hope you don't blind people with your white skin)
2. Get your nails done
3. Have lunch with a friend (but don't eat too much, the girls down here are THIN)
4. Post to your blog
5. It will come to me I know, just let me think about it for awhile

Unfortunately, I've only taken a lunch 3 of the 7 days I've worked. Today I will take a lunch!

Jazz Fest

This weekend's lineup includes:

Michael Franti & Spearhead
Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Band
The Roots
Galactic
The New Mastersounds
And more!

I'm that much of a groupie

We just booked this really great trip!

A groupie is a person who, while he/she may be a fan at some level, seeks intimacy (most often physical, sometimes emotional) with a famous person. -- Wikipedia

The Kitties Survived the Trip

I sent Zeus to Shane a few days before Maia and I made the trip. Poor Shane! Zeus cried for three days and the moment he saw his sister and mom he stopped. Shane couldn't sleep even with earplugs! I'm happy to report the family is happily settled at the apartment. Maia was a wonderful (and quiet) travel companion so I certainly got the better end of the deal. Now if we can all just survive the trip home.